案例: After entering the third year of high school, Xiaomei's academic performance has been unstable, up and down。After the test results came down, she was most afraid of going home to ask her parents about the results of each subject。Dad always said she didn't work hard enough to compete with the neighborhood kids;My mother is relatively gentle, although not as strict as my father, but always stressed that "only by entering the ideal university can there be a way out".。The thought of parents are actually concerned about themselves, Xiaomei is very self-blame, feel nothing good, more and more feel that they are not learning material。She slowly fell into the dilemma that the more anxious she was, the worse she learned。Faced with this dilemma, what can parents do to help their children？

　　分析: The development of individual self-confidence can actively stimulate the potential。In the face of the difficulties encountered in learning, the more frustrated the more brave, is a powerful internal reason for getting good results in the exam。So self-confidence is very important to study and life。If the senior students lose confidence because of several unsatisfactory exams, and the parents fail to help the children out of the dilemma in time, it will seriously affect the enthusiasm for learning。

　　There are many causes of self-confidence, and the relationship with parents, the relationship with others in the original family and even the relationship with teachers, etc., will have a profound impact on whether a person is confident。And parents are not confident will also directly lead to children are not confident: for example, some performance in the children's high requirements, and even more in the child during the exam preparation, busy, make the child very nervous, these are not confident performance。Many parents have a one-sided understanding of the college entrance examination, too high expectations for their children, and a single evaluation method for their children。To make students confident, parents must first change their mentality。

　　Tips: Parents first confidence

　　If parents are usually confident and positive people, children tend to be more confident and can positively attribute setbacks;If parents are usually more negative, more anxious and nervous than children, how can they give their children confidence？This year, you can try to be a role model for your children and make the whole family feel confident。An easy way to learn to focus on and appreciate yourself is to describe everything that happens in your life in positive and positive terms。Seeing the positive parents, how can the children be negative？

　　Respect your child's status quo

　　Parents are the best teachers of children。If you want your children to unload their burdens, parents should set an example。First of all, we must change our thinking: the college entrance examination is only a summary of a stage of life, and can not directly determine the future achievements of children。"Excessive attention" and "excessive expectation" will directly affect and infect children。At the same time, children are always accompanied by their parents, not only will they feel that there is no free space, but also become very fragile psychologically, so that they are afraid of failure and worry that they are sorry for their parents' love。Once the examinee's academic performance is not good or fails in the exam, he will bear great psychological pressure。Therefore, parents should calmly treat the college entrance examination, do not deliberately change the original rhythm of life, and create a good and loose living and learning atmosphere。

　　At the same time, each child has his own actual situation, including learning foundation, knowledge level and coping ability。Therefore, parents should not underestimate or overestimate their children's actual ability, or set some unrealistic goals。Children do not belong to their parents, they have their own lives and futures, and parents cannot forcibly bind their children to their own wishes。Every child wants to be inspired and recognized, and wants to get a good score on the college entrance exam to report to all those who love him。Therefore, do not use too many unrealistic dreams in the invisible pressure on children。

　　More parents pay too much attention to their children's grades than to their children's abilities。The results can be ranked, and the strength of the ability will gradually show up only when the child grows up。Therefore, it is more important to cultivate children's ability in various aspects from an early age than to learn a lot of knowledge, such as creativity, imagination, thinking mode and so on。Parents should broaden their horizons, observe carefully, and capture their children's bright spots。Children need their parents' approval, especially when they fail in exams。Therefore, whenever the child needs encouragement, parents must seize the opportunity to encourage and affirm the child's efforts, and rationally analyze the reasons for losing points with the child。Of course, if the child has always been indifferent to the failure of the exam, it is necessary to find ways to arouse his attention to school。

　　Beijing Heping Street first middle school teacher Xie Wei